it doesnt really mean that im angry when i dont talk, although most
of the time it does. it just means that i need some space to think things
through. and i was angry, at myself.
it is always good to listen to people's criticism of you so that you can know
more about yourself from another perspective, or rather other's point
of view and so that you can improve on these weaknesses or so called flaws.
of course, you might not feel good listening to it, or rather, you will not
feel good listening to others criticise you but learn to take it with a pinch
of salt, regardless of whether it is true or not. listen, understand, and learn to
deal with it with whatever you deem to be the correct way. it is absolutely all
right to not agree. and i am alright with opinions and comments on why
you disagree when it is expressed in the correct manner.
i am part of the team and whatever criticism that we have received, i should
bear most of the responsibility. and whenever it is not be true, i feel upset
too. i feel angry, even. but i dont let these feelings get the better of me.
whatever it is, i feel that the criticism is unfair and i let that be my motivation.
time will tell the truth. and when that time comes, it will shut everyone and
anyone's mouth up, wont it?
it is nearing. 2 more months i guess. no exact date or whatsoever.
but lets just take it that there are 2 more months. at the rate that we are
improving - at least i think most are, regardless of our speed, do you think
we can make it? i do see your efforts, others might not be able to feel it
but i do. yes and i saw for myself how wj and atiqah asks seniors for advice on
how to position themselves when defending and how to shoot etcetc. these
little things really show that they want to improve. i see hl asking msseah
stuff. steph also tried to clarify doubts with me, though i really dont know
if i am teaching her the right stuff. but besides asking, there are a lot more to
improving. well start with the basics. get your passes right - flat passes, pass to
your friend's blade, etcetc. get the damned passes right, you wont want to regret.
and i learnt it the hard way. there was once i passed the ball from our corner to
the opponent and she received it and took a shot against our keeper. it went in and
i became the damned loser. you dont want to learn it the hard way, trust me.
simple stuff like shielding, however much you hate it, you have to do it. it helps
when you are stuck in the corner etc. do it during trainings when you have a
partner with you instead of doing other stuff like shooting. there is always a time
for everything. receiving passes, looking up before shooting, these are all skills
that needs to be perfected in 2months' time. there is not much time left, people.
dont do it just because msseah is looking. do it because you want to improve.
dont do it because i told you so, do it for yourself, for the team, for our common goal.
and i do agree, our hardwork is taken for granted. we are supposed to work harder,
supposed to be better, supposed to score all the goals, supposed to block all
the shots. these are all groundless. just because we got into last year's team? we got
the places cause we worked hard for it. work hard for it and you all will earn your
places too. work hard and you will be able to shoot, defend, run and do whatever
you want to do. insteading of gawking at what others are capable of doing, start
thinking about how you will want to go about achieving the same things. and
i hate to repeat this but there is not much time left.
and more often that not, i feel angry not because i havent met others expectations
of me. it is because i havent met my own expectations of myself. yeah, never assume
that i can run easily or whatsoever. it is because i push myself real hard and ensure
that i reach my limits that i achieve results. the assumptions deny me of my hard work.
and by pushing myself, i wont let myself down.
we're all in this together. and we're not stopping till we get there together yeah.
hang in there and it'll be over, real soon.