yepps finally got it. hah.
not in the best of moods now.
this is so blardy crappy.
noe sth? im so gonna get a job in uni.
I CAN BLARDY JOLLY WELL SUPPORT MYSELF.
i'll ban gong ban du. thats wad i'll do. and i'll save
LOTSA money. loads and loads of them. then i'll use them
to buy an apartment. and move out.
i reli cant stand it anymore. it wun do any of us
good if u see too much of me.
i spend more time in school than at home.
thats good. i hate this place.
NO. its not a place i can turn to when im sad tired
or wadeva anymore. its not a place that i can turn to.
neither can i turn to the ppl here. they hate me
i feel lik a freak here. this place doesnt suit me at all.
jus admit it. u fking hate me. wads wif trying hard to use
those harsh words to attack me? its jus gonna make me
drift further and further away from this place that u all
call home. but that does not apply to me. why?
IT DOESNT FKING FEEL LIK A HOME.
or rather it doesnt feel lik the home that i lived in when i was
still a small kid. u noe wad i feel? i feel that no one cares.
i feel that im extra. i feel that i dun belong.
u noe how it feels when u all are talking to one another happily
and yet i can jus sit there without noeing how to join in.
and when i do try. u discourage me by not trying to help.
sometimes i reli think that no one noes me. its pathetic.
yes i do exist. but no one makes it a point to let me feel that
i belong. when i reli try. u say that i take this home as a hotel.
fine. i get angry. i get hurt. and so i do things the way that u think
i would do. my aim is to make u angry. since u hate me.
sometimes i reli wish that i can disappear into thin air.
not reli disappear. but maybe haf an invisibility cloak.
so that no one can see me. but i can on the other hand see others.
thats enuff. i will be able to survive on my own i guess.
or would u rather kill me urself.