hows this?
screw the mid years
screw the blardy tchers who
dunno how to teach
screw the tchers who only noe how
to stone and slack
screw myself for not having enuff
time and starting early
screw all my blardy textbooks.
screw every single damned thing
u noe how much i hate this.
its lik. all they noe is to scold me.
lik wtf lah. im not here for u to scold
im sure im borne for a better reason.
lik for studying. screw you.
i will remember that. i will always remember
that. its etched in my tiny little brain oredi.
the pain is not on my face. its inflicted on my
heart. a permanent damage. that will remain
there as an ugly scar. fret not. i will not do anything
at least not now. i will not leave. till
the day when u reli tear my heart apart.
i believe that day will come sooner or later. rite now.
wad i hafta do is to put this aside FIRST.
u noe how i always curse and swear?
in the past, i once heard from my fren that
he actually says "F YOU" to his folks.
THEN, i was lik wtf. how can u lik scold your folks
lidat? i was quite stunned. and curious at wad exactly his
parents did to deserve that. but now. i fully
understand that there are ALOT of stuff that they can do.
not to piss you off. but to hurt you. yaryar.
i learnt to swear. and curse.
and u noe how little brothers can piss you off totally that
u feel lik killing urself at that moment.
i could have died a million times committing suicide cause
of that. lik WOW. bitches. they are the perfect bitches.
u noe when he was born. he was given all the attention.
grandparents aunties wadeva wadeva all gave him the
attention. WADEVA. i jus remembered that there was
a period of time when i was about 2, and my mum
started carrying this huge LUMP of stuff at her stomach.
i remember staring at that HUGE thingy when i stood beside
her as she was washing plates and all. then there was a fine day
when my grandparents brought me to this place. i tink it was a pink room.
and my mum was jus lying on the bed. wif this "trolley thing"
beside her. and there was a crying thing in it. and obviously ppl were
crowding round it. and i was carried by someone i forgot who.
at that time, i did not noe that that was the thing that was gonna
live wif me from then on. so much attn and love was showered on him.
i felt neglected. he had to follow me wherever i went. its lik so irritating and
all. shikes. nobody ever asked me wad i felt. my parents jus tot i din
lik him or sth. and that i was bullying him. as we grew up,
it became quite obvious that my grandparents liked him more. and
that i was there for the purpose that he could shift the blame on me
cause me being the elder one shoulda taught him. lik yar.
SOME GHOST taught me.
fair is not for us kids to say
its for the parents to decide.
well. then freak is for me to say then