today was a normal skool day.
sians. was on screensaver mode again for physics.
i cant stand physics lesson.
gee. its lik being hypnotised lah.
but rite after physics lesson was recess and
i was damn energetic during recess.
dunno why oso. crappy lah.
cause i saw him. maybe. but now im too
fking angry to be excited.
then after that was SEL lesson at lab. did
the OSCARS thingy. dun laugh. but they asked
me to be a maths tcher. yar. i tink thats wad
im gonna be in the future. if i do
have a future. that is. a math tcher. at AHS after she
leaves. that is. yar.
anw. the oscars thingy was okie.
and after that there was this ppt.
i was damn stunned when i saw my pic -.-
asked that r.e.l.a.c guy to send me. and he was nice
enuff to agree. yup. thanks.
after that nth much to say. i reli tink chi lesson
is crap. although huanglaoshi is cute. she cant teach.
dammit. now i tink going to skool is crap as well.
where else can i go? shitass. so frustrated. fuck
u tink threatening me to do sth is fun isit.
u tink using him to ask me to do things is fun rite.
fugoff. wth. its not fun at all. i especially hate it cause its
as if u are using me and using him.
thats called despicable.
and u tink wad u are doing is rite?
wadeva. its jus pissing me off reli.
u can say im petty. u can say i suck.
u can say wadeva u want. but im telling u that
i dun lik it. screaming his name and all.
saying all that stuff that u dun mean at all jus
to spite me. fug u. im reli tired of all this.
u try being in my position.
u tink its fun isnt it.
fugfugfugfugfugfug.
IM FUGGING TIRED.
continue if u want to.
im too tired to retaliate.
im always only happy in skool for that
few min and yet u had to make me feel that way.
go to hell. either u go to hell.
or i can send myself off to hell.
i always tot there was someone that i could rely on.
but no. i bluffed myself. THERE'S NOBODY!!!
NOBODY. in fact. EVERYBODY is trying to PUSH me
into hell. pushing me wif all the energy that they haf got.
nobody is wif me.
to those who are reading this.
if you have read my previous posts and think they are lik
so fugging fake. and that this is jus a drama serial that u are watching.
u can stop reading my blog. jus go shut ur damned eyes.
stick stamps or it or sth. jus dun read this.
im not writing all this to gain sympathy or anything.
this is jus a fugging place for me to vent my frustrations
cause there are no other means for me to do this.
no choice if no one wants to fugging listen to me talk.
and if u arent fugging happy bout this. go somewhere else.
dun act as if u care when in the first place u dunno wad is
fugging going on. if u dun care. dun ACT as if u do.
cut all that hypocritical acts. it feels good at times when u
noe someone actually tries to listen to u.
but when u find out that wad they are doing is not sincere.
u get fugging angry. and upset.
u can trust no one in the world and no one will
ever reli noe u or understand u.
it made me realise how cruel ppl can be.
how no one shd be trusted. how no one will help
u even when u are in trouble.
they jus treat it lik another drama serial that they
are watching. and gossip about it. STOP
GOSSIPPING for goodness sake. u have no right to
comment when u dun even noe wad is going on.
so stop commenting cause U DUN NOE. u dunno anything at all.
NOBODY NOES AT ALL. NOBODY TRIES TO NOE.
so jus shut ur trap. you you you and you.
u made me realise that i still haf hope.
u gave me hopes.
and now u dashed all my hopes.
every single one of them.
u dashed them. stop looking at me lik that.
it makes me feel better after looking at u.
but after that. i feel the pain again. more
and MORE pain inflicted on me. time and again.
i tot u will help me. but u din. i had too high a hope.
and i ended up getting disappointed. and demoralised.
u knew. but u dunno me. i tot u did. u din. U DUN.
STOP IT. stop it.
im hopeless. fug.
i am hopeless.