im starting to lack confidence in myself.
lik the way i think tht im getting more
and more stupid and all. DAMMIT lah.
i jus cant drill this out of my
mind lik the way someone drilled it
into my mind. freak. dunno wads happening.
its lik i jus lost a pillar of support.
sad. sad. sad. lost in my
own world where i mourn for myself.
freak. its not the same.
u noe every tcher jus some into ur cls.
and start talking bout sec 4 life.
tests. CCA. wadeva. Olevels.
dammit. and u noe wad? i actually
get scared when they mentioned al these.
scared that i cant cope. scared that i will jus screw
every single thing up. jus thinking bout al this
can make me tear oredi. its lik i suddenly got
depression or sth. and wads so damn freaking
contradicting is that im aware that wad im doing is totally
wrong and yet im doing all this c**k
im actually scared.
wad the freaking hell. i cant stand the weak
me. its lik totally CRAP. its jus the start of the year and
im behaving lik this. WTF. this is so damn gay.
im tired. very very tired. i tink i need to take a rest.....
today was CCA orientation. i tot that one
person was enuff to make the whole event so freaking
unenjoyable. and im not spose to guailan him again.
in case other stuff are affected. he is such a fag.
anw. i tot the quota for CDS is reli damn pathetic lah.
wads wif the performing arts and drama doesnt need too
many ppl. wth. damn freaking gay lah.
and there was this particular bunch of pl who pissed me off.
CHILDISH bunch of ppl.
even though i am FREAKING CHILDISH
i wun go to that extent to lik block out a person
when she's trying to speak to another person.
freaking hell.
seriously. i tink i noe when my happiest moments
in skool is. its gay. but i dun giv a freaking damn.
at least im happy. thats the point of time when i can reli
forget all my worries and jus chase after my 'dream'.
4 per day is not enuff.
i wan at least once per half an hour.
photo album~
now i realise wad my time is spent on.
not on computer. not on idle talks.
on WORRYing.
WTH. damn gay lah.
gong xi fa cai