im feeling abit weird now.
sorta quarelled wif her
she asked me
wads my zuo you ming in life
it was suppose
kai xin jiu hao
but dunno why
i gave this up like last yr
cause i noe
i'll never be reli kai xin
so wads the point of deluding myself?
i dunno
i mean
i do try u noe
damn hard
suffocating
ya
but they look as if dun give a damn
freak
if u wun let me live happily
wads the blardy point of me wanting to be happy when i
can never be happy
i hate this totally
i promised to be happy
but i hate it when i break my promise
im waiting
waiting to grow up
so that i can leave
leaving is not the rite thing to do
but thats the only thing that i can do
to not make u angry
and to let me be happy
leave
so to a place where i can reli
smile
and tell myself that im happy
why isit so freaking diff to be happy
am i a blardy freak or wad?
why am i so different?
why is my life so diff?
why do i have to put on a mask every single day
why the freak is this happening
its reli better to stay as a kid
or rather i wld do anything
to let my life rewind
to when i was a small kid
when i din noe anything
dunno wads pain
jus noe that i hafta eat my sweet everyday
and wait for mummy to come home to tell me stories
but i noe this will never come true
cause things change