i dunno wad the hell is happening to me. mood swings. terrible mood swings. big decrease in my confidence level. and all the other rubbish. i mean its lik. one moment. i can be damn enthu, damn happy, all smiley de. then one second later, i can be all f-ed-up. lik i can snap at ppl. bark at them, or show them my super chao bin. i oso dunno. its horrible. and i dun lik it. i mean i hate this la. i hate myself for being lidat. i dun lik the way my nerves gets connected all wrongly. im getting sick of this. for all the change in moods. im getting real tired. sometimes, i jus need someone to talk to.
this term is gonna end in one/two weeks' time. and i have a kind of feeling that this is reli a damn busy term where i have no time. absolutely no time. for studies especially. its horrendous. i mean. this term passed by so quickly and i din reli do anything during this term. wads worse is that the exams are coming. and i dun seem to noe any of my subjects well enuff to be able to take a surprise test. so how the hell am i suppose to take the exams? for this term, my studies are lik dropping lik bird shit. totally incorrigible. i hate this. i hate it when things turn out this way. i dun wan it this way. i dun mean it this way.
this is not the life i wanna lead.
i feel lik crying so much. i feel lik watching a sad movie now. a sad movie which will make u cry ur lungs out. not that i wanna watch the movie. it'll make me cry ya. so that i can reli cry out loud. not becos i wan to. but becos i watched a dumb movie. there are times when i listen to songs in the nite. and i jus cry. ya. i tink its stupid too. but my tear glands are abit weird thats all. maybe i'll enjoy walking in the rain. cause thats when no one can see me crying. no one.
maybe, someday, i'll jus vanish. lik vanish into thin air. i'll go to a place where no one noes me. and live on my own. no one else. except me myself and i. i tink that my relationship wif others is jus totally ...
i am about to suffocate to death and yet no one is there to save me.
jus let me die.